people who act like hot shit when they’re really just room temperature shit
(Source: earthnation, via emilaugh)
maybe i’m still single because i didn’t forward that chain email to 17 of my closest friends 5 years ago
that’ll explain the little girl with no eyes at the end of my bed too
(via kevajuice)
*clinks glass* i’d like to make a toast. *puts bread in toaster*
(Source: tiger-lilies-and-tortellini, via thathilariousasian)
if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right
yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off
(Source: yourenotaheroyourealiar, via lrvin)
being called on to read in class when you aren’t following along
being called on in class
class
ass
(via kevajuice)
“We Know Who Your Crush Is” - a psychological thriller for fourth graders.
(via thehilariousblog)
